The dilemma

ah so once again we've reached this point of deliberation and potentially having to make a change to Theo's sleeping habits.

But the thing is, is that I'm happy with the sleeping arrangements, he sleeps in the bed with us. I feed him to sleep, then most of the time get up again and spend some time with Rob downstairs in the evening, then when we go to bed he doesn't usually wake up. He doesn't 'sleep through' meaning he does wake up, but on a good night means that he wakes slightly, and I either put him on the other side of me, stroke his back or feed him back to sleep. But he never wakes up fully and neither do I, so on those nights I feel like I, and we get a good nights sleep. It's only on nights when he is more restless and sometimes is awake for about an hour or more that it's a problem, but these nights only tend to happen when there is something wrong, like teething or feeling a bit ill for example, which is fairly normal right?

I know that at some point we are going to have to sort out Theo's sleep associations, because at the moment the main way he falls asleep is by me feeding him, so therefore that's the way he thinks he has to go back to sleep, blah blah, I've read lots about the patterns in babies sleeps and it's normal for them to wake, he just needs to learn how to go back to sleep by himself, like we do. At the moment I'm trying to address this by only offering him a feed as a last resort, I'm trying to soothe him back to sleep by rubbing his back etc, which works some of the time. So what's the problem?

The problem is is that I'm getting worried that I'm doing the wrong thing (again) and I have constant questions of "isn't he in his own bed yet?" "when's he moving to his own room?" "he really should be sleeping by himself" blah blah blah. Also the other day I met with a friend and her baby, who is a month older than Theo is sleeping through and in his own room. My friend isn't the "oh my baby is wonderful and is sleeping through" rub it in your face type, but it still made me question whether we should be attempting the same thing. She has stopped breastfeeding altogether now, and they reached a point where they actively made a change, because it felt like the right time. It only took four days for the baby to learn to sleep by himself in his own room. Maybe it was because the baby was ready, and the parents were too?

At the moment I'm still completely happy breastfeeding Theo, and if it gets him back to sleep at night then I'm happy doing it then too, but I know there may be a point when I feel I would like to stop, but I don't feel like it's now. I also know that Theo hasn't really given any signs that he wants to stop either, so I certainly don't want to force weaning on him. As with the sleeping I feel happy and really love co-sleeping, and again I haven't got the feeling that Theo wants it any different either. So it works for us, for the time being.

But saying all this I sometimes question myself as to whether I'm making up excuses, because I really enjoy it, and I don't want to give up co-sleeping. Am I being selfish? Should we at least try putting him down in his cot? He might prefer it? Who knows?

Do you just know when it's the right time to wean and to move them out of the bed? Should I just ignore all the 'advice' and pressure I get about him still co-sleeping, or should we start to make a change? I hate this constant worry that I'm doing the wrong thing. Am I setting Theo up for bad sleep habits when he's older, or am I doing the best thing by doing what feels right for us both? in other words: