I'm excited to share Lia's story today on my blog, and it will make you laugh that's for sure! But blimey 10 years, massive congratulations!
Me: “S**t! Did you realise that in June we will have been married ten years? Ten Years!"
Chris: - “People get less for murder” (he likes this line)
Me: “That is so hilariously funny it reminds me of when an actual comedian first cracked the joke before I was born. Anyway, I need our wedding photos, did we remember to bring them from our flat in London? I haven’t seen them since.” (6 years)
Chris: “Yeah they're in the eaves”
Ahh Yes, they are in the eaves.
The eaves that no one ever enters except if it’s December, you've necked a bottle of mulled wine & there has been a naked Christmas tree in the front room screaming out for someone to dress it for over a week.
But then I guess that’s just us, we’re a bit like that sometimes…
Our wedding rings? Funny story. They survived until day two or three of our honeymoon. They were misplaced somewhere in either Spain or Italy & they were never found and we still haven’t got around to replacing them.
My Wedding dress? Now, where is that? My guess is that it's the slightly discoloured mess of organza that pisses me off every night as it falls out of the top of my airing cupboard, but I’m not 100% sure. I don’t have a huge love affair with it; I chose that dress a week before we wed (off the rack, Monsoon. Score!) and actually my dear old great nan (bless her) told me off because it wasn't really a wedding dress, it showed off my legs and I had teamed it with flip flops which, quite frankly just looked silly. It annoyed her even more when I discarded them altogether 10 seconds after the ceremony ended and went barefoot.
My Wedding hair? Jesus. MY. WEDDING. HAIR.
Look at it! What was I thinking? For some bizarre reason, I decided to attend my wedding as a Judy Finnigan impersonator and although the mind boggles as to why anyone would do that (why?!) it was actually an improvement on who mum thought I looked like. I could hear her saying to everyone seconds before I made my grand entrance:
"it's wonderful. She looks JUST like that Zoë Wagamamma"
She meant Zoë Wannamaker (either that or a noodle dish) and as fabulous as that particular hairstyle is, it wasn’t what I was going for. Don’t feel sorry for me, people told me I looked lovely and I'm not going to believe for a second that had anything to do with the copious amounts of Pimms that we provided for them.
We got married in one of the most stunning places in the world - Saunton in North Devon in a hotel looking over the beach. We were lucky enough to have one of the sunniest days of the year as the backdrop to our celebrations and it really was one of the most beautiful days.
Having spent the night before chilling with our friends at The Red Barn in Woolacombe we woke up together & agreed that it would be quite nice to meet up again in a couple of hours in our glad rags and get wed. I went off to another room and morphed into Judy Finnigan whilst my bridesmaids sat around drinking champagne not getting ready (you know who you are!).
Then it was time to embark on the craziest rollercoaster ride and exciting journey we would ever take. No pressure!
The ceremony was short and simple and to this day I can remember very little of it, apart from being absolutely terrified! It's kind of my idea of hell standing in a room with 100 people staring at you, and it's 100% behind the reason I tried to convince Chris to marry me in Vegas whilst we were there six months earlier. I do however remember one very bizarre moment - the very first person I saw as we left the ceremony room was Bob Holness (y’know from Blockbusters) and he said "Congratulations"! I have no idea what he was doing at my wedding, but there he was anyway. Boy did our guests have fun asking him over & over for a P, poor bloke.
The afternoon was lazily spent chatting, soaking up the sun, sipping champagne and strolling along the beach until we all got together again for a huge feast and the inevitable speeches.
Chris thoroughly embarrassed me as he told this big elaborate, animated story about how one night he met the girl of his dreams who was beautiful, funny, clever, perfect etc etc.…. I know right? How romantic of him. WRONG. Turn’s out the punch line was how this girl never called him back and the following night he met me. Wah Wah Waaaaahhh….
It’s OK. I have a sense of humour.
Before long we were dancing around to the band my mum had secretly booked for our big day: The Howling Bitches.
Yes, our wedding band were called The Howling Bitches and I’m not sure who liked that more, my great nan or Chris’s granddad! They were actually a surf rock band local to the area, but for our wedding they performed a beautiful acoustic set which was perfect as unbeknown to me Chris (who is a DJ) had planned what can only be described as a bloody rave for the remainder of the night, tsk! At first that annoyed me slightly, but as it turns out i'll spin about to anything if i've got enough gin inside me..Who knew?
So yes, (celeb wedding crashers aside) the 8th June 2004 really was the most relaxed, romantic, surreal and giddy day. It was bursting at the seams with love, smiling faces and belly laughs and i'm so glad we got to spend it with the people that matter to us the most and not just some drunk old Elvis wannabe (i'll do the impersonations around here, thanks).
It really was perfection. I'm glad we did it!
Thank – you Abi for having me. All my congratulations to you, Rob & the gorgeous Theo! Have fun and enjoy the journey!