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There are a few things I want to work on in the new year, and one of those is confidence and believing in myself and my abilities, and that includes this little blog here.
When I was younger I didn't really have much self confidence, I was afraid to do things by myself and would never push myself to the limit. Then when I finished college and left the comfort and security of my home and friends I decided I needed to do something about it. So I got various jobs, saved up some money and packed my bag for a solo trip around Scotland, Orkney and the Shetland Islands, Norway and Sweden. It was a pretty lonely trip, but filled with walking, photographing, travelling on boats and trains, reading, camping, preparing simple meals and above all taking in the breathtaking scenery. There's nothing that helps clear your mind and put you in perspective like gazing upon mountains, glaciers and fjords. It may sound cheesy and clique, but that trip really did change me.
Upon my return I had one last wild summer with my friends before embarking on my University journey. This was daunting, as I'm sure it is for most; living in a new place, meeting new people and learning. I've always been a fairly independent person so wasn't really afraid of being in a new place, in fact I relished the freedom. But the meeting new people and having to sort of 'sell' yourself or at least all your best points made me very nervous. But of course as time went on I naturally gravitated towards like minded people and we formed great friendships. I then had to overcome confidence issues in the under taking of my photography projects and work. It was hard at first, but then I found I loved the challenge of talking to new people, setting up shoots, building relationships and organising and planning trips. I felt pretty alive!
But now I don't feel that so much, I feel like I've lost what took me so long to gain and I don't believe in myself any more. And it shows, here on this blog I feel like I want to do so much more, with my photography, with my words and with my socialising, but I am just a little afraid. I get intimidated by actually talking to people online (which is kind of silly because the beauty of the internet is that most people actually feel more comfortable communicating online). Maybe its easier for some people because you can project an image of the best parts of yourself, you can have the confidence here that you don't have in real life. You can have total control of how you appear, what your personality is like and your interests. I do love the internet for that, but call me old fashioned but I feel much more comfortable doing that face to face. I am more shy online that I am in real life!
So 2014 will hopefully be a year where I start to believe in myself. I want to be able to have a confidence in what I do, who I am and I want to be able to share that here too. I want this space to not only be about my family and our adventures, but also a space to share what is inspiring me, my interests and my memories. I would love to share with you more stories of my past and some of my solo adventures. Perhaps I will even show you projects and work I have done in the past in a hope to inspire me to make new work for myself in the future.
I started a little new board on Pinterest to gather inspiring things that may help in my quest for the new year, and I love this little list:
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