A Rohan update


So where to begin...over the past few months I had been slowly adding to a big long update post and was just ready to publish when I did something stupid (when I thought I had the text backed up) but managed to wipe the whole thing. So here we are, back to square one.

I’m so desperate to keep this blog alive, to keep recording but sometimes I do wonder whether it’s dying its own death on its own. Self-sabotage. Maybe that’s something that’s happening to blogs in general. I mean this blog has never had a huge following but I guess it’s had a steady amount of readers who like to check in, and for me it seems like a much more permanent (aside from my most recent error!) form of recording than an Instagram post. I tend to do much shorter updates over there, but I do like being able to expand a little more but perhaps I should try and keep it to shorter sections here as to not make the task of writing a massive post too daunting and therefore taking me MONTHS to complete.

So, let’s talk about Rohan’s development, or really if you want to get technical, his gross motor skills.

I can’t remember really where he was when I last updated but suddenly it seems as though he’s really clicked with walking and wanting to be on his feet. At the beginning of the summer we were given a walking frame by his physio which, like most things with Rohan has taken a little while for him to get used to. It started ok, he was keen and liked being congratulated but we only used it for really sort tester periods at home, but he still preferred to bum shuffle about and even started crawling more often. There were moments where he frightened himself a little when it became unstable when he lent against the back of it and therefore became a little resistant to using it, but we persevered and I started to take it with us to his nursery settings to try and get him used to using it in as many environments as possible. 

I guess I should add that one of the things that changed with his walker was that I became a little more confident in taking it out with us. It's such a massive and bright obvious thing and it screams for attention, and it's not out of embarrassment but me being self conscious. I didn't want an extra thing to make us stand out or to mark us as different so it's really taken me quite a few months to build up that confidence to take it out in public. We started just by taking it to our local park where I know most of the people who go there, and therefore they know Rohan too and whilst I know that else where people would either be curious or well meaning I perhaps wasn't ready to have to have the conversation as to why he needed the walker or what it was for. I spoke a little about this on my instagram and it's so true that sometimes it's just exhausting to always have to have answers prepared, to have a little script that you default to and it just felt like another thing I needed to build up to and add. Sometimes I just dream of going out without feeling like I need to be armed with all these things, sort of just needing an invisibility cloak or a shield to just be able to blend in a little more. But then slowly things shifted and I knew we needed to incorporate Rohan's walker into our everyday to encourage him to use it more and get him used to being on his feet and walking places instead of being carried (also my back will thank me) so it became more important than any of my own hang ups.

And really since then we've not even had to have that many conversations, I've had smiles and comments of how sweet he looks from adults and innocent questions from children, and actually you know what, I'm so proud of Rohan just being able to be around and do things that other kids are doing, with his walker alongside him. I think it's great that perhaps those kids will go home and not think twice about it or the next time they see another child using one, and actually the more open and using it in public the better as the more normal it seems.


We also started to encourage him to walk with us holding his hands, which probably isn’t the best for him to practice balance, but in my head, it was getting him used to the idea of being on his feet and taking steps instead of being on his bottom, and this mixed with him using his walker has hopefully helped him build confidence with being on his feet more. He’s been pulling himself up onto furniture for a while, from kneeling then standing and then experimented with a little cruising. Now he’s fully able to cruise around furniture, and even taking little steps (whilst still holding on) between gaps. I’ve seen him take a few tentative hands off also and balance on his own for a few seconds too! All exciting stuff. He's become a master stair climbing now too, after a month or two of practicing, which I was actually surprised at how quickly he picked it up! We've now had to install a stair gate as he became so ninja like at climbing them that a few times we had no idea he'd got himself up and found him half way up the stairs! Whoops...He's not mastered going back down them yet but I guess we'll figure that one out. He also decided that he doesn't mind crawling on all fours and does a mix between that and bum shuffling, to be honest I'd rather he crawled so he didn't ruin so many pairs of trousers as they all eventually get massive holes in the bum. 

The thing is with Rohan, is that he is developing. Every day he seems to try or gain confidence in his abilities but it’s just at such a slower rate, it’s like everything is protracted or in slow motion, and it’s like viewing things through a magnifying glass. What with Theo may have taken a few weeks takes months and months with Rohan which means we notice every single detail and little change, which is amazing actually as you can really see the process it all goes through.
I feel like we’re heading in the right direction, I just hope that he continues working on his confidence in his abilities and becomes a little more daring at what he’s willing to try.



His fine motor skills are coming along pretty nicely too, he recently discovered his pointing finger and I don’t know why but I find it the cutest thing ever. He’s started to point to things a little and know taps on things like my phone with it, which means perhaps we can start playing a few more games with him like that. He’s got pretty good hand control and can pick up most objects and use a pincer grip, he can also feed himself and knows where his mouth is, he can use a spoon and fork also and is really working hard to load them himself too. 

I think it's all so promising and it seems like only a matter of time before perhaps he will take a few steps and I just can't wait for that day! It's so strange, I've had a few dreams where Rohan has taken steps, or said his first word and it all seemed so natural and normal and the feeling was so joyus. It feels weird to wake up and remember after dreams like that, like I almost have to check that it didn't happen for real. I know he'll get there in his own time but there's still a part of me that is impatient for it, I want him to suddenly one day just get it and start walking and whilst I know that's not our reality I would be lying if I wasn't impatient sometimes. I just have all these moments and pictures in my head that I can't wait for; him to toddle over to my open arms, him to walk by my side holding my hand, him to run around the park or play on the beach. I know it's all there waiting to happen, but sometimes I want it to be now.

But for now we're so proud of how far he's come! 



A Rohan update


So where to begin...over the past few months I had been slowly adding to a big long update post and was just ready to publish when I did something stupid (when I thought I had the text backed up) but managed to wipe the whole thing. So here we are, back to square one.

I’m so desperate to keep this blog alive, to keep recording but sometimes I do wonder whether it’s dying its own death on its own. Self-sabotage. Maybe that’s something that’s happening to blogs in general. I mean this blog has never had a huge following but I guess it’s had a steady amount of readers who like to check in, and for me it seems like a much more permanent (aside from my most recent error!) form of recording than an Instagram post. I tend to do much shorter updates over there, but I do like being able to expand a little more but perhaps I should try and keep it to shorter sections here as to not make the task of writing a massive post too daunting and therefore taking me MONTHS to complete.

So, let’s talk about Rohan’s development, or really if you want to get technical, his gross motor skills.

I can’t remember really where he was when I last updated but suddenly it seems as though he’s really clicked with walking and wanting to be on his feet. At the beginning of the summer we were given a walking frame by his physio which, like most things with Rohan has taken a little while for him to get used to. It started ok, he was keen and liked being congratulated but we only used it for really sort tester periods at home, but he still preferred to bum shuffle about and even started crawling more often. There were moments where he frightened himself a little when it became unstable when he lent against the back of it and therefore became a little resistant to using it, but we persevered and I started to take it with us to his nursery settings to try and get him used to using it in as many environments as possible. 

I guess I should add that one of the things that changed with his walker was that I became a little more confident in taking it out with us. It's such a massive and bright obvious thing and it screams for attention, and it's not out of embarrassment but me being self conscious. I didn't want an extra thing to make us stand out or to mark us as different so it's really taken me quite a few months to build up that confidence to take it out in public. We started just by taking it to our local park where I know most of the people who go there, and therefore they know Rohan too and whilst I know that else where people would either be curious or well meaning I perhaps wasn't ready to have to have the conversation as to why he needed the walker or what it was for. I spoke a little about this on my instagram and it's so true that sometimes it's just exhausting to always have to have answers prepared, to have a little script that you default to and it just felt like another thing I needed to build up to and add. Sometimes I just dream of going out without feeling like I need to be armed with all these things, sort of just needing an invisibility cloak or a shield to just be able to blend in a little more. But then slowly things shifted and I knew we needed to incorporate Rohan's walker into our everyday to encourage him to use it more and get him used to being on his feet and walking places instead of being carried (also my back will thank me) so it became more important than any of my own hang ups.

And really since then we've not even had to have that many conversations, I've had smiles and comments of how sweet he looks from adults and innocent questions from children, and actually you know what, I'm so proud of Rohan just being able to be around and do things that other kids are doing, with his walker alongside him. I think it's great that perhaps those kids will go home and not think twice about it or the next time they see another child using one, and actually the more open and using it in public the better as the more normal it seems.


We also started to encourage him to walk with us holding his hands, which probably isn’t the best for him to practice balance, but in my head, it was getting him used to the idea of being on his feet and taking steps instead of being on his bottom, and this mixed with him using his walker has hopefully helped him build confidence with being on his feet more. He’s been pulling himself up onto furniture for a while, from kneeling then standing and then experimented with a little cruising. Now he’s fully able to cruise around furniture, and even taking little steps (whilst still holding on) between gaps. I’ve seen him take a few tentative hands off also and balance on his own for a few seconds too! All exciting stuff. He's become a master stair climbing now too, after a month or two of practicing, which I was actually surprised at how quickly he picked it up! We've now had to install a stair gate as he became so ninja like at climbing them that a few times we had no idea he'd got himself up and found him half way up the stairs! Whoops...He's not mastered going back down them yet but I guess we'll figure that one out. He also decided that he doesn't mind crawling on all fours and does a mix between that and bum shuffling, to be honest I'd rather he crawled so he didn't ruin so many pairs of trousers as they all eventually get massive holes in the bum. 

The thing is with Rohan, is that he is developing. Every day he seems to try or gain confidence in his abilities but it’s just at such a slower rate, it’s like everything is protracted or in slow motion, and it’s like viewing things through a magnifying glass. What with Theo may have taken a few weeks takes months and months with Rohan which means we notice every single detail and little change, which is amazing actually as you can really see the process it all goes through.
I feel like we’re heading in the right direction, I just hope that he continues working on his confidence in his abilities and becomes a little more daring at what he’s willing to try.



His fine motor skills are coming along pretty nicely too, he recently discovered his pointing finger and I don’t know why but I find it the cutest thing ever. He’s started to point to things a little and know taps on things like my phone with it, which means perhaps we can start playing a few more games with him like that. He’s got pretty good hand control and can pick up most objects and use a pincer grip, he can also feed himself and knows where his mouth is, he can use a spoon and fork also and is really working hard to load them himself too. 

I think it's all so promising and it seems like only a matter of time before perhaps he will take a few steps and I just can't wait for that day! It's so strange, I've had a few dreams where Rohan has taken steps, or said his first word and it all seemed so natural and normal and the feeling was so joyus. It feels weird to wake up and remember after dreams like that, like I almost have to check that it didn't happen for real. I know he'll get there in his own time but there's still a part of me that is impatient for it, I want him to suddenly one day just get it and start walking and whilst I know that's not our reality I would be lying if I wasn't impatient sometimes. I just have all these moments and pictures in my head that I can't wait for; him to toddle over to my open arms, him to walk by my side holding my hand, him to run around the park or play on the beach. I know it's all there waiting to happen, but sometimes I want it to be now.

But for now we're so proud of how far he's come! 



More thoughts on developmental delay

It's strange, I've had two reoccurring dreams recently where I've dreamt Rohan has taken his first steps and said his first word (cuddle!) It felt so real and normal that I had to remind myself when I woke up that we're not quite there yet. It's frustrating because it just looks like it should be so easy (it's not, I know) and I have to try and stop myself comparing to how Theo was, or babies born nearly a year after him. I know he's doing amazingly well, and I'm so thankful for that, because we work hard with him so it's good to see some progress but sometimes it's just hard to stop yourself wondering.

He's still attempting his crawling, which is great, but it's definitely not as straight forward and linear as usual development. He seems to go back and forth with his abilities, one day doing well with moving (currently it seems he's favouring the commando style pulling himself along) and the next not so much. It's like every process is played in super slow motion, what would take a "normal" baby perhaps a few weeks to learn and progress takes Rohan months, if not nearly a year. So whilst his attempts at crawling are amazing, and believe me I'm over the moon, sometimes it's hard to remember that he still probably won't be properly crawling or moving before he's nearly two. It's hard because he's getting frustrated too.


I feel like I just want him to be able to join in more, we have to carry him or place him on the ground (and at 10kg+ this is getting pretty heavy!) and he's just so active, he doesn't want to be held, he wants to be on the ground, but when you get him there he just sort of gets stuck. He has to work so hard that he just gets tired, then frustrated, so we pick him up and then we start the whole process over again. I know that perhaps when he does eventually get moving I may be cursing and wishing for a time when it was easier to keep him in one place, but you know, grass is always greener!

I also find myself imagining what our daily scenes would look like if Rohan was following the "normal" development track. How would his and Theo's relationship be? Would he be able to join in more, climbing, racing around, speaking a few words and communicating more? Would they be able to play together more? I catch myself a lot of the time just thinking what would it be like if it all just went a different way, the way we had planned. What would our lives really look like. It just takes me back time and time again to the feeling of why us.


I longed for this baby for so long, and always slightly regretted not having children closer together. I think too often of how our lives would look if our miscarried baby had made it, how our days would be with a almost 2 and a half year old in them. How would Theo have been if he'd been made a brother a year earlier? I feel guilty for that, for not being able to give him a sibling sooner, or a sibling who could play with him more. That's not to say that they don't play together, because they do, and love each other dearly and I wouldn't change that. Theo gets so involved and is constantly talking about Rohan reaching his next 'target' and it's very sweet. But I do wonder at how much Theo realises that things are different, I wonder if he looks at other siblings and thinks that is how his life should look, or whether actually he just takes things for how they are and gets on with them. Maybe I should be doing this more?

I know we have so much to be thankful for too, that we have another child, that others suffer more and that our daily lives are thankfully pretty "normal" looking. But sometimes the what ifs just get the better of you.


More thoughts on developmental delay

It's strange, I've had two reoccurring dreams recently where I've dreamt Rohan has taken his first steps and said his first word (cuddle!) It felt so real and normal that I had to remind myself when I woke up that we're not quite there yet. It's frustrating because it just looks like it should be so easy (it's not, I know) and I have to try and stop myself comparing to how Theo was, or babies born nearly a year after him. I know he's doing amazingly well, and I'm so thankful for that, because we work hard with him so it's good to see some progress but sometimes it's just hard to stop yourself wondering.

He's still attempting his crawling, which is great, but it's definitely not as straight forward and linear as usual development. He seems to go back and forth with his abilities, one day doing well with moving (currently it seems he's favouring the commando style pulling himself along) and the next not so much. It's like every process is played in super slow motion, what would take a "normal" baby perhaps a few weeks to learn and progress takes Rohan months, if not nearly a year. So whilst his attempts at crawling are amazing, and believe me I'm over the moon, sometimes it's hard to remember that he still probably won't be properly crawling or moving before he's nearly two. It's hard because he's getting frustrated too.


I feel like I just want him to be able to join in more, we have to carry him or place him on the ground (and at 10kg+ this is getting pretty heavy!) and he's just so active, he doesn't want to be held, he wants to be on the ground, but when you get him there he just sort of gets stuck. He has to work so hard that he just gets tired, then frustrated, so we pick him up and then we start the whole process over again. I know that perhaps when he does eventually get moving I may be cursing and wishing for a time when it was easier to keep him in one place, but you know, grass is always greener!

I also find myself imagining what our daily scenes would look like if Rohan was following the "normal" development track. How would his and Theo's relationship be? Would he be able to join in more, climbing, racing around, speaking a few words and communicating more? Would they be able to play together more? I catch myself a lot of the time just thinking what would it be like if it all just went a different way, the way we had planned. What would our lives really look like. It just takes me back time and time again to the feeling of why us.


I longed for this baby for so long, and always slightly regretted not having children closer together. I think too often of how our lives would look if our miscarried baby had made it, how our days would be with a almost 2 and a half year old in them. How would Theo have been if he'd been made a brother a year earlier? I feel guilty for that, for not being able to give him a sibling sooner, or a sibling who could play with him more. That's not to say that they don't play together, because they do, and love each other dearly and I wouldn't change that. Theo gets so involved and is constantly talking about Rohan reaching his next 'target' and it's very sweet. But I do wonder at how much Theo realises that things are different, I wonder if he looks at other siblings and thinks that is how his life should look, or whether actually he just takes things for how they are and gets on with them. Maybe I should be doing this more?

I know we have so much to be thankful for too, that we have another child, that others suffer more and that our daily lives are thankfully pretty "normal" looking. But sometimes the what ifs just get the better of you.


Living with developmental delay


I thought it was probably time for a Rohan update, but I wanted to talk a little bit about how our lives are, surrounding his developmental delay.

I've spoken before about how we know that this is part of his syndrome, but most of the time I try not and focus on it and compare to where he "should" be, but in fact try and focus on what he can do and how he is developing in his own way and in his own time. Which is fine, like most aspects of his care and about him, at home when we're in our bubble, but stepping outside of that comfort zone is hard.

I don't even have to actually step outside of my home to feel the pangs of jealously and comparison, all I have to do is have a quick scroll through my social media to see babies born around a similar time to Rohan, walking around, saying their first words and generally becoming full blown toddlers. There are even babies born way after Rohan who are now further ahead in development than he is. I know I shouldn't let it, but it hurts me. I'm not saying that the parents of these children shouldn't share their milestones and everyday goings on, they have every right, but it still doesn't stop the feeling of unfairness. That old emotion coming back to get me.

I know that all children develop in different ways, and that hopefully he will walk and talk (but the fact that we even have to say hopefully, when normally you don't even think about the fact they might not be able to) eventually, and some may even look at Rohan's development and compare that to their own children, it's natural I think, but it's not really talked about. It's hard to admit that he's behind, or that there's something causing these delays. All leading back to the fact he's different, things are harder and not straightforward.

So here we are, he's now 16 months but still around the age of 7-8 months developmentally. He has low muscle tone which means his body has to work so much harder to support itself. I actually forget how old he is often because when people ask his age I just give a vague answer of "just over a year" when I don't feel like going into it, or there's not really time. I'm not sure how long I can keep this up for to be honest, but I've still not perfected our story or how much to say and when. I don't really mind telling people, it's just I feel awkward. He does still look babyish to me, but his face is starting to show different, more grown up features so it's going to become obvious soon that he's not really only one.

For complete openess here is what he can do. He can roll back to front, and sometimes front to back (unless he gets his arm stuck). He can stay sitting for long periods of time, but we have to put him in sitting position, his legs are usually straight and pretty rigid, and he spends a lot of this time counter balancing himself. He can use both his arms to play in this position though, and will use a good pincer grip and transfer items between his hands. He's started to learn that he can drop and throw objects, and will look for them after he's dropped them. He uses his arms to communicate a lot of the time what he wants, by reaching, gesturing and lunging. He can pick objects up and move them aside to get to what he wants. He's starting to weight bear more whereas before if you tried to stand him up his legs would just go up. When he's on his front he can prop himself up on his elbows and use his hands to play, he likes to open flaps and turn pages in books. He can feed himself with his bottle and now his sippy cup, he also likes to use other objects such as his stacking cups to 'drink' out of. He likes to make our hands clap together, but hasn't worked out how to clap his own, even though recently I've seen movements that look like the start of it and waving.

We've been having weekly play and physio sessions where we are working on the transition between sitting and lying, and back again. He's doing pretty well at turning himself from sitting with his legs straight, to side sitting, with his legs bent to the side which then can lead to him kneeling, and supporting himself with his arms. He's struggling a little bit with the other way, which is to get up from side lying and push himself up with his arms. The thing is, is I can't remember the "normal" way of doing this. I can't remember how Theo got himself into sitting, then to lying and then to crawling. It's like it all happened too fast, but Rohan is in slow motion. He gets so tired too, his little body having to work twice as hard, and he's stubborn. He doesn't like to be put in positions he doesn't want to be in. It's hard to see him like this, and I think we all want to see him on the move.

I just don't think I even anticipated the impact of him being developmentally delayed. I mean day to day it doesn't cause us many problems, it's just hard work. It's hard because we have to practice with him everyday, hard because he gets frustrated and stuck and I feel like we have to move him room to room with us and just plonk him down when we need to get stuff done (with toys!)
It's hard emotionally too, to constantly compare, or think how nice it would be for Theo to be able to play with him a little more, to see them sitting and playing or Rohan toddling after Theo in the garden. It's hard to have to try and cover it up, or try and explain, or answer questions. I also think it's just a constant daily reminder that he has this syndrome, and that he's different. And whilst I love so many things about Rohan that make him him, I just wish he wasn't so delayed. I hate to say that because I can't change it and it's not his fault, but it's the way I feel a lot of the time.

I do celebrate and get so excited when he learns something new, and I know each milestone for us will be such a big occasion. But for now I guess I just have to embrace the extended baby phase for a little longer. I know we'll get there in our own way and time, and for now Rohan can continue distracting everyone from his lack of movement by his lovely smile.



Living with developmental delay


I thought it was probably time for a Rohan update, but I wanted to talk a little bit about how our lives are, surrounding his developmental delay.

I've spoken before about how we know that this is part of his syndrome, but most of the time I try not and focus on it and compare to where he "should" be, but in fact try and focus on what he can do and how he is developing in his own way and in his own time. Which is fine, like most aspects of his care and about him, at home when we're in our bubble, but stepping outside of that comfort zone is hard.

I don't even have to actually step outside of my home to feel the pangs of jealously and comparison, all I have to do is have a quick scroll through my social media to see babies born around a similar time to Rohan, walking around, saying their first words and generally becoming full blown toddlers. There are even babies born way after Rohan who are now further ahead in development than he is. I know I shouldn't let it, but it hurts me. I'm not saying that the parents of these children shouldn't share their milestones and everyday goings on, they have every right, but it still doesn't stop the feeling of unfairness. That old emotion coming back to get me.

I know that all children develop in different ways, and that hopefully he will walk and talk (but the fact that we even have to say hopefully, when normally you don't even think about the fact they might not be able to) eventually, and some may even look at Rohan's development and compare that to their own children, it's natural I think, but it's not really talked about. It's hard to admit that he's behind, or that there's something causing these delays. All leading back to the fact he's different, things are harder and not straightforward.

So here we are, he's now 16 months but still around the age of 7-8 months developmentally. He has low muscle tone which means his body has to work so much harder to support itself. I actually forget how old he is often because when people ask his age I just give a vague answer of "just over a year" when I don't feel like going into it, or there's not really time. I'm not sure how long I can keep this up for to be honest, but I've still not perfected our story or how much to say and when. I don't really mind telling people, it's just I feel awkward. He does still look babyish to me, but his face is starting to show different, more grown up features so it's going to become obvious soon that he's not really only one.

For complete openess here is what he can do. He can roll back to front, and sometimes front to back (unless he gets his arm stuck). He can stay sitting for long periods of time, but we have to put him in sitting position, his legs are usually straight and pretty rigid, and he spends a lot of this time counter balancing himself. He can use both his arms to play in this position though, and will use a good pincer grip and transfer items between his hands. He's started to learn that he can drop and throw objects, and will look for them after he's dropped them. He uses his arms to communicate a lot of the time what he wants, by reaching, gesturing and lunging. He can pick objects up and move them aside to get to what he wants. He's starting to weight bear more whereas before if you tried to stand him up his legs would just go up. When he's on his front he can prop himself up on his elbows and use his hands to play, he likes to open flaps and turn pages in books. He can feed himself with his bottle and now his sippy cup, he also likes to use other objects such as his stacking cups to 'drink' out of. He likes to make our hands clap together, but hasn't worked out how to clap his own, even though recently I've seen movements that look like the start of it and waving.

We've been having weekly play and physio sessions where we are working on the transition between sitting and lying, and back again. He's doing pretty well at turning himself from sitting with his legs straight, to side sitting, with his legs bent to the side which then can lead to him kneeling, and supporting himself with his arms. He's struggling a little bit with the other way, which is to get up from side lying and push himself up with his arms. The thing is, is I can't remember the "normal" way of doing this. I can't remember how Theo got himself into sitting, then to lying and then to crawling. It's like it all happened too fast, but Rohan is in slow motion. He gets so tired too, his little body having to work twice as hard, and he's stubborn. He doesn't like to be put in positions he doesn't want to be in. It's hard to see him like this, and I think we all want to see him on the move.

I just don't think I even anticipated the impact of him being developmentally delayed. I mean day to day it doesn't cause us many problems, it's just hard work. It's hard because we have to practice with him everyday, hard because he gets frustrated and stuck and I feel like we have to move him room to room with us and just plonk him down when we need to get stuff done (with toys!)
It's hard emotionally too, to constantly compare, or think how nice it would be for Theo to be able to play with him a little more, to see them sitting and playing or Rohan toddling after Theo in the garden. It's hard to have to try and cover it up, or try and explain, or answer questions. I also think it's just a constant daily reminder that he has this syndrome, and that he's different. And whilst I love so many things about Rohan that make him him, I just wish he wasn't so delayed. I hate to say that because I can't change it and it's not his fault, but it's the way I feel a lot of the time.

I do celebrate and get so excited when he learns something new, and I know each milestone for us will be such a big occasion. But for now I guess I just have to embrace the extended baby phase for a little longer. I know we'll get there in our own way and time, and for now Rohan can continue distracting everyone from his lack of movement by his lovely smile.